Active disengagement

Three hundred billion dollars is the conservative cost given to lost productivity in the US due to actively disengaged employees. Conservative because the assumption is that each disengaged employee simply sat on his or her station and didn’t wreak havoc elsewhere- an unlikely assumption because most disengaged employees do plenty of things each day that brings each other down with their own sinking ship. This is a direct quotation from ‘How full is your bucket?’ Written by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton.

I have a lot of thoughts on this but I’ll publish this first. Let me know your thoughts

Taking care of business

I’ve been on hyper mode for about 5 days now. Just because I’ve taken to watching Suits, the syndicated TV series, from USA Network. And since I’m on my #34yearsofmeaning journey and my diatribe against all forms of my personal status quo (which will hence be referred to as PSQ), I guess Suits season 3 (yes i know I’m late) couldn’t have arrived at a much better time.

So lets have a quick rundown of the PSQ which I have come to realize, re-realize and take stock of, over and over again. (Pishtosh, I have a creative language award/ poetic license you turd)

1. I’m contented with what’s happening.
Sounds legit right? Because it is. But, frankly, the thought scares me. The thought that I am contented with WHAT IS, scares me because this time last year, I was on a bit of a high. Too much of a high actually that I changed my cover photo into one that shows a guy jumping off a cliff. Yes, that’s exactly how I felt and yes that’s how I roll, updating my facebook cover is the shiz.

2. Why be scared, to start with?
Difficulty typing a response to a rhetorical question is not the shiz. Im scared because I don’t have enough shiz to do the shiz when shiz happens. Did you see what I just did there? Which leads me my third point.

3. I want to be able to walk the talk and absorb all things NASDAQ, S&P5000 and DOW. While I try to conjecture with myself (and successfully convincing said self that I’m Harvey Specter sans the PSQ) I want to be MikeRoss at this whole point number 3 which is set to be staged immediately after #34yearsofmeaning and #searchforALtruism which is smack against each other.

4. Not necessarily against each other, as evidenced by Bo Sanchez’s best selling book which forewords: ‘Is not possible to have the wealth of a millionaire and the heart of a monk?’ YES, he says and ‘it’s going to be difficult’ because NOTHING OF GREAT ACHIEVEMENT COMES EASY.

Special thanks to #spotify for the kickass music and for the title of this post.

Changing the landscapes of emotions

A friend of mine died last week. He was 33, newly married to one outstanding intellectual that knows what she wants, and in her own words, disregards everything else. It’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just how she is. I used to hang out with both of them a great deal back in high school and college. Maroon bloods, we were called. We used to share a fond affinity for all things nice and fun and back then, days were spent lounging in pools, eating out and partying, in between the school work that we had to do. And we were good at what we do, half of us were advanced Math students and half of us were advanced English students. And during that time wherein the world was still free of excessive narcissistic self promotion via social media, we knew we mattered.

After college, we kinda grew apart, with the different fields that we found ourselves in. Months morphed into years and milestones, like weddings are the only times we get to be reunited. I found out that my guy friend was one of those gaming guys who made online games and is being paid handsomely for it. Come to think of it, I don’t know if he made the games or tested the games or did whatever with the games. All I know is that he’s good at what he does and he became a senior manager for playing computer games. Knowing how he’s wired? This is his dream job. Or was.

My lady friend, in the meantime, is one of those PR lady bosses who smokes up a cloud of wit and breathes fiery words to newbie copywriters. She’s well read, well travelled and certainly knows her stuff. Although they seem to be very different, they are perfect for each other.

They had a sweet wedding ceremony with all the works last 11-12-13 and those who attended (I was stuck with a client meeting) cooed and blurbed about how awesome the wedding turned out to be. It was their brand of loving that made it all the more unique.

And then he died.

Pretty much like the wifey, I don’t handle emotions all too well, having gone through hell and back with my own brand of MMK. So this, thing, death, moving on, ascending, passing, whatever this is. I don’t want to accept just yet. Not that my opinion matters, but Universe, I’m talking to you. I see what you did there!

This whole sordid affair is laying waste to how I handle my emotions. But I’m not the main character here. Im just on the sidelines witnessing how once bright futures of two my very good friends fizzled out. Just like that.

Sadness doesn’t even begin to cover what we’re feeling.

It’s there.

It’s there. In the back of your head. On your shoulder. Behind your eyes. Lurking in the corner of the room.
The voice that keeps you up at night.
The song hat you haven’t yet sung.
The story you have yet to tell.
The idea that refuses to die.

And it whispers: never,never stop.

Few hear it. Even fewer chase it.

What’s your white rabbit?

Slide transitions

1)A mayfly shares my light. I call it like so because they usually come out in May of every year. But it’s June now and they are still here. Perhaps, like me, they stick around. Looking at the light, hoping to make sense of the darkness that envelopes us.

2)Code more. That’s what the top of my key pad says. It says b then I then link then quote then del then ul then ol then Li then code then more. I am using the WordPress app on my pad. And while I have a faint idea as to what these buttons do I just don’t want to think about it now. Try saying that: ‘I don’t want to think about it now’
I see a lot of potential in that statement. A lot of power. To be able to say that regularly means you have achieved some sort of authority or knack or clout to be able to pull it off. But right now, it’s just for you and me. And in this tiny space we are sharing which we call ‘now’

3)What’s good about transitions is that it conditions your mind to expect something new while simultaneously closing the slide just past. And it’s an effective tool both to break your reverie and connect the slides to each other. Don’t you sometimes wish that we have those fun transitions?
Life is serious enough as it is. I think we all deserve a break. A transition. Something that would slide smoothly.

4) I don’t feel too good about myself now.
…
There.
I don’t want to explain it.
It’s just the way I’m feeling.

boxes

The boxes proved larger than I initially thought. And with good reason, I have always made my life public and with that, people talk, comment and yes, box. (Adj.)
The reason why it’s ok for me to live like an open book is because I have been through a whole lot of fugly and if other people can learn from my mistakes and hasten their own personal improvements based on my experiences, then I would be happy. Because I would have been able to help them. No, I don’t seek accolades, I seek to inspire. More and more people are growing sad because of convoluted feelings of self-worth. You are not worthless and you will never be.

I would have wanted someone to say this to me last week but since nobody did, I had to say it to myself. Pathetic? Probably, but I am very comfortable with myself because I have learned the hard way that I shouldn’t seek for too much affirmation and approval, from anyone. If it comes, I say thank you. If it doesn’t, well, life goes on.
And that’s precisely what I would have wanted last week, for people to move on in my life, or better, move on with their lives and leave me be. You see, what happened was, one of my old professors was making a big deal about my grades back in college and how this would affect my performance in graduate school. I was shocked, hurt, harassed and furious. I’ve always been put in boxes because of this waterloo. Strangers, not even in my circles, get updated of this waterloo because I guess it’s so fun to talk about. I even received confirmation that a whole department is talking about me semester in and semester out, making it a point to update their students of who I was. Jeez. I just hope they’re using a flattering picture in their power point. LOL. Alf is fun to talk about. Boxes beget boxes.

After four days of being all hot and bothered, I gave it up and reflected on the experience.

Boxes, preconceived notions, impressions and judgments’ derail people from seeing the true value of one another. Our judgments’ of others block our view and promotes division and rejection. When we begin to see the value of each others worth, focusing on what they CAN do and not what they CAN’T DO, we also open ourselves to the possibility that this person that we are so quick to judge may help us in some way. In the case of this old professor, I still can’t understand what drove her to say the things she did, or what it was that she hoped to achieve. But what I do understand is there are times that I too am very guilty of boxing other people in. To address this, I have a conscious system of dealing with people so I can free myself from the devastating effects of judging them. I call it my plus-minus system.

It works this way. One of the things I try to practice is to keep my mouth shut whenever I am on the verge of saying something awful. Remember the old adage? ‘If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all?’ Believe me that is very hard. I am in the business of people relations and marketing so conversations account for a lot of my waking hours. And there would always be people who are more opinionated than I am. And there would always be people who are just plain disagreeable.

Minus points are awarded to people who are disagreeable. These are the types who make it a point to argue even over the most senseless topics. Do I hate them? No. Are they reaping negative points? Yes. To free myself from negativities (I try to be as positive as I can), I shy away from these types of people. I don’t want to judge them so ill just lessen my interaction with them. One of the hardest things to do is to affirm a negative person but if you are able to do it, you would see changes in them. It’s better to give out affirmation than to demand it.

Minus points are also given to people who don’t see my worth. While I don’t claim to know everything and while I know I am poor at some things, I also know that I am good at some things. We all are uniquely gifted! And while I don’t wear a placard saying I’m good at these things, people who know me, know. So it’s very puzzling to me when someone approaches me for help but doesn’t listen to what I have to say. It’s like being in a monologue. Their monologue. Where information is unidirectional. Do I put them in boxes? No. I think they have not realized my worth yet. And if they hadn’t well, that’s not my problem.

Plus points on the other hand are easily given out. These I give to people who make me laugh, smile and feel good about myself. A huge bag of points is given to people who make OTHER people happy because of a good deed, a kind remark or even a silly joke. I radiate towards positive, happy, fun-loving people who can catch my attention. I’ve talked a lot about this already, I get bored easily and it’s difficult to catch my attention BUT if it’s something I’m really interested in or something YOU made me interested in, well, that’s more PLUS POINTS for you.

Pluses and Minuses free me from tagging people permanently as lost cases. This I do because there are a lot of people who, through our long and bumpy relationship as friends, chose to never give up on me. I owe these people a lot. It’s just paying it forward. My plus and minus system keeps it real, it’s like saying: I don’t really like you now but its okay. I’m sure we will be able to regain what was lost in the future. Furthermore, I also believe that every one of us has this sort of system in us, a system of social interaction constructs based on differing human relations. It’s just that I put a brand name to it. Yes, you may refer to it as ‘Alfred’s Plus and Minus System’ LOL

I have written a lot about expectations and how we should lessen or increase it based on the level of relationships that we have. The problem is there are no hard and fast rules that govern expectations in all forms and types of relationships. It’s up to the involved parties to figure it out for themselves. Believe you me, I would want to give you a quick guide on this but it won’t be accurate. Relationships are uniquely designed for the people involved.

Remember the idiom, ‘Jack of all trades master of none?’ I believe that. I believe that no one is self-sustaining and I believe that no one is that good to know all facets of a business or all there is to know about life in all its glory. It just doesn’t work that way. True, they can profess to know but do they really? Hmm. I guess this is my cue to shy away and keep my mouth shut. =)

There are some things that I can’t do and there are some things that I’m good at. Having a healthy respect for each other’s unique genius opens doors to deeper, more meaningful relationships. I’ll end this reflection with a story I read from the online Didache sent to me earlier today by Bo Sanchez’s web team:

unique genius

“What, then, will this child be?” – Luke 1: 66

A teacher once told Michael’s mother that he’d never be able to focus on anything in his life because of his difficulty in focusing on the lessons in the classroom.

As a boy, he was diagnosed with ADHD. He’d often stand up and can’t stay quiet. It was very hard for him to concentrate. At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Michael Fred Phelps won eight gold medals in various swimming events — the most gold reaped by anyone in a single Olympics. That’s aside from the various awards and records he still holds.
Often, we hold biases and beliefs about how a child would grow up based on what they are now and what they do.
We tend to box a child (or other people for that matter) with what we see or of our impression of what they do. We relegate them to the sidelines. The cruelest thing we do is give up on them.
God made us great with our own unique genius. We should treat others and ourselves as such. Jun Asis (mabuting.balita@gmail.com

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cerebrus interruptus

Admit it.admit it. I break your trail of thought =)

Hi network. I’m back.
Yeah,I admit, I might’ve started one of my past microblogs using the same phraseology.thats ok.im allowed to repeat myself =)

I was inspired by one of the many things i read online earlier today,the blog was written by a friend of mine and the point of his treatise was finding someone who could be with him when he’s lonely.Not that way you perv,but more of having someone to talk with.Yep,he’s intent on finding a GF. For our purpose,and to be totally crude about it,lets refer to it as ‘finding a mate’

But im not goin to talk about that,what i wanted to talk to you about is how You as an individual can do stuff so you wont have to feel too down when you dont have a ‘relevant other’

Thinkin about it, i don’t have any tips on hand to address those kinds of thoughts either. What i am confident of is i Will be able to churn out stuff for you and I to think about after a long days worth of work or study or play or whatever it is you do.

I,alfred labadan,your marketingman friend,do solemnly promise to interrupt your thoughts,and to go all Disney about it: ‘in the most delightful way’=)

How’s that eh?
For the students,it’s now june,time for you to start workin on gettin that degree again, i for one am excited because i too am starting classes next week.

For the working stiffs,businessmen and parents,hello. It’s another day for you and me to earn and inspire and make good with what we have achieved thus far.

To all of you, This is my hello,your LifeTrekker is back =)

Same rules apply, comments are very much appreciated.you can subscribe or unsubscribe anytime and you can register your friends numbers as well.LifeTrekker Mobile is available for Globe and TM subscribers only. This is the beta version of LifeTrekker online

Let us LifeTrek together!=)

the capacity to remake yourself

Like any individual who had had a life altering event, I found myself adrift- with all the responsibilities and expectations required of a yuppie but none of the security. When I had a job, I built a certain kind of life and it became my identity. When I lost that job or the career that I thought I was building, I lost that identity and for more than a year, I was dealing with it in the best possible way I knew how, writing- and telling you about it. And that’s scary for the most part because my work-er career defined who I was, and without it, who exactly am I again? It’s like the death of the self. And so I had to go down on my barest self and tried rebuilding and making do with what’s left lest I go out and make the same mistakes again.

It was a hard year, I’m sure you knew especially if you were subscribed to my Life Trekker blog. And I am not all that proud of everything I have said and done at that time. I made really crazy decisions, like whimsically going on that PEFAJ interview out of boredom. I got in, I did well (aced the class actually) and earned lots. But the work doesn’t agree with me. Hell, no one around me agrees with this poor call, to punish the pun. But I’ve no regrets because the two months I spent with them were a cornucopia of rich experiences. I met a wide range of people that I would never have met had I stayed inside my cozy little bubble. It was like taking a vacation from who I really was.

I am now marketing environmental services. Like any other momentous moment of my life, I outline the good things that make it right for me at this time. This responsibility that I have right now is right for me because 1. I get to write, which I have been told I am good at. 2 I get to sell ideas and services and make relevant people sit up and listen, which actually is marketing, if you simplify it. 3. I am saving the earth, which I feel strongly about because duh, it IS where we live and it’s not as if we could get a new one.

Reinventing yourself and appreciating what you have come easy when people around continue being supportive no matter what.  I am at an age when what detractors say no longer matter. But I am kind of affected when people close to me tell me that I am not the right fit for this.

At least three people have told me explicitly that

1. I am pretending I know what I am doing and I am pretending to like it. They are not so sure.
2. I am not the right fit for the job because he is smarter than me. (He probably is smarter, it’s okay.)
3. I am better off working as a call center agent because it fits me more.

Ouch. As much as I tried, I couldn’t come up with any explanation as to why these individuals have the audacity to say these things up front. The optimist in me pleads that they ‘mean well.’ The pessimist in me shrugs it off and says: ‘they are probably insecure’ while the bigger part of me just let it slide because I am more interested in having a Grreat life than being morose and sulky. You’ve read this before in my articles:  My default setting is ‘Happy.’

Once you find your passion, jobs and work no longer define you. You define them; you make it work regardless of what others say.

I wish that you will find your passion the soonest possible time.

my love-hate relationship

I have a love-hate relationship with my fats. Uhuh. You read it right, fats. Layers upon layers of my resplendently healthy fats lining my luurve handles. Chicks dig this. True Story. Hehehe.

Earlier, I was looking at my closet trying hardest what to wear,seeing that my options are somewhat limited.Given my most recent shopping trip, I am well stocked BUT the thing is, I was morosely looking at a pile of shirts that I have long given up on. I think it was 2005 when I was the thinnest. I was examining a shirt and laughed at the sheer mockery of its size. EXTRA SMALL?!? Looking at it now, I doubt if it’ll even fit my neck, which btw, has gained another extra layer of supple chin. My chin reserves the right to jiggle upon raucous laughter.

So, ten minutes to 8am, I was still debating on what to wear and just opted for my recently acquired extra, extra large shirt.EXTRA LARGE?!? jeez.

Two Saturdays ago,I saw one of my older friends at IC’s who playfully called me ‘Jojo!’ (For the uninitiated, Jojo is my older brother, who has the likings of Jabba the Hutt, hehehe, peace bro!) Who,me, Jojo?Jeez.

Last night, I was heaving as I made the rounds in UPLB with a drinking bud as he went on ranting about the sordid affairs of his life. We walked the ‘campus-walk’ route or something close to it because I was freaking heaving ten minutes into it. Jeez. This was, in no part, due to the greasy burger, fries and coke that I downed for dinner.

Fat is the new thin. I have had the chance to become really thin and I have had the chance to become really huge. But, unlike the rest of the populace, I don’t particularly have any deep emotional response to being thick or thin, I just roll with it. And so should you.

Well whaddaya know? It’s already 10am, snacks anyone? =)

written wed sep2 12:04am

Its bound to be an interesting next week ill bet because of the sudden stir up and goings on in the liberal party, partly because of mar roxas’s seemingly selfless pronouncement on ‘stepping aside’ for the greater good of the filipino people. I still haven’t forgiven him for that ridiculously-ridiculous, horribly-corny pedicab ad. While it is very obvious that this is yet another ‘well placed campaign for media mileage,’ I am not that hard pressed to judge this Big announcement.

Does Noynoy have what it takes?

let’s see