Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

rats asses and conversation lifeboats

September 1, 2010
    I always derive a certain sense of purpose after talking business with friends. Not the type of business as in the ‘I want your money’ kind but the rapid flow of entrepreneurial thoughts, hand clapping highs and eureka moments (or as I’d like to put it: alflikesthis moments)

    Being the busy entrepreneurs that we were, my friends and I  just spent a maximum of 2 hours together; talking life and business and everything else in between. I was with Beestro Café owner Marc and Bookstore owner Jing. A lot of obvious topics needed to be covered but situations change and amidst promises of future meet ups, the  business tete a tete broke up as soon as it started.

    Before this night-cap, I was with two other people who were close to heart but our shared experiences differ somewhat. While one already finished graduate studies, the other one was doing his thesis while I, as you very well know, am still on my honeymoon stage. I am liking graduate studies to the letter. And again, to punish the pun: ‘alflikes graduate school.’ The shared experiences we had for this set included a quick commute to Westbrook for the fugly case of the missing house keys. Please don’t ask me to retell the story. Fugly nga e. ugh. To quote kuya kim: ‘lamang ang may good memory’

    Before this wild goose chase for the missing keys, I was doing a lifemapping  and person building session with DPC slash cuz who happened to be my classmate at a PE class. It is at this point that I would like to outline a set of conversational rules that we discussed and that I would like followed.

    Oo, ako na ang tga establish ng conversational rules. Hahaha. This is, after all MY BLOG. Lest you forget.

    Thesis Statement: I don’t care about other people’s love-dovey relationships. I cringe at the thought of discussing love life in public. I don’t want other people discussing MY love life or any semblance of it. I have a healthy respect for people who are able to do this. But it aint for me.

    I have a couple of disclaimers though:

  1. I have, in the past, actually did discuss love live’s (this doesn’t sound right) of other people. I would like to maintain that the reason for this was:
  2. I felt the need to do so, because the ones involved are probably  good friends. Or they were dying for an ear to listen. And I didn’t want people dying on me.
  3. I pretended, because the needy love-lifey person talker needed some help. And if you have been paying attention, I always like to help.
  4. Let it be known that I like problem solving in terms of helping the person to move on. But PLEASE spare me of the mushy details of your relationship. I don’t think its right for you, or actually, for anyone to share what should  be between only the two of you who are directly involved.
  5. Now just in case I haven’t made myself too CLEAR, here goes:  AL LABADAN DOES NOT WANT TO DISCUSS LOVE LIFE’S(?) OF OTHER PEOPLE. IN THE SAME MANNER, I WOULD LIKE TO RESPECTFULLY ASK EVERYONE PESTERING ME ABOUT MINE TO STOP. Why is this, you ask?
  6. Well for starters, ITS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS. I DON’T GIVE A FRIGGIN RATS ASS ABOUT HOW YOU ARE A TOO MUCH OF A COUPLE. Ooops. Sorry to be extremely crude. Who I date and what we do is MY business. Not yours. Kapische?
  7. If you were under some sort of impression that I am dying for an update about your mushy love life? I  AM NOT. If I led you to believe that I am interested, I humbly apologize. I DON’T CARE, ACTUALLY. Hehehe. I have a lot of things on my head. And as much as you would like to claim that it includes your thing: NO, I have better things to think about.
  8. You wanting to share about your mushy love life DOES NOT give you the right TO ASK ABOUT MINE. QUIT BUGGING ME!
  9. For those of you wanting to chitchat and throw your opinions about other people’s relationships: go ahead, good for you. If it makes you happy, go on ahead. But please don’t talk to me about it. And don’t make me or my future girlfriend/wife a topic. Again, I don’t LIKE talking about this. Its taboo for me. Learn to accept this truth. I don’t ask for much.
  10. I do however, appreciate the value of these ‘mushy stuff’ in the light of social interactions. It is becoming very socially acceptable to discuss and pry into other people’s business for lack of something to talk about. Although it shouldn’t be, and I  disagree with it, I’d like to call these topics as ‘safe conversation lifeboats’ or that which you talk about when you don’t have anything else on the table.
  11. On couple pairings:  I might join the tirade for a minute or two but that’s it. I LOSE INTEREST. And ALL OF YOU PEOPLE SHOULD, TOO! What is up with all of these kakiligan, mushyhan, sumbungan, chismisan?! SURELY there are a lot more other things to talk about? So lest, you didn’t get my point: I recognize that talking about this would grease social interactions, BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF IT!
  12. Here’s some food for thought: why not talk about business? Or marketing? Or poverty alleviation? Or leadership and governance and how we can improve our country? Fine, these are topics for old people. FINE,  I AM old. ITS ABOUT TIME YOU SHOULD TOO. Grow up.! Let’s talk about things beyond our own little bubbles and begin to see how the world needs OUR help as capable citizens of this earth. There’s a BIGGER WORLD OUT THERE and I suggest that you move beyond your kakiligan and ka mushyhan and START thinking about others who need your time and capabilities and talents.
  13. How does that saying go?

    “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. ….

    Step up people. Step up or don’t talk at all.

boxes

June 24, 2010

The boxes proved larger than I initially thought. And with good reason, I have always made my life public and with that, people talk, comment and yes, box. (Adj.)
The reason why it’s ok for me to live like an open book is because I have been through a whole lot of fugly and if other people can learn from my mistakes and hasten their own personal improvements based on my experiences, then I would be happy. Because I would have been able to help them. No, I don’t seek accolades, I seek to inspire. More and more people are growing sad because of convoluted feelings of self-worth. You are not worthless and you will never be.

I would have wanted someone to say this to me last week but since nobody did, I had to say it to myself. Pathetic? Probably, but I am very comfortable with myself because I have learned the hard way that I shouldn’t seek for too much affirmation and approval, from anyone. If it comes, I say thank you. If it doesn’t, well, life goes on.
And that’s precisely what I would have wanted last week, for people to move on in my life, or better, move on with their lives and leave me be. You see, what happened was, one of my old professors was making a big deal about my grades back in college and how this would affect my performance in graduate school. I was shocked, hurt, harassed and furious. I’ve always been put in boxes because of this waterloo. Strangers, not even in my circles, get updated of this waterloo because I guess it’s so fun to talk about. I even received confirmation that a whole department is talking about me semester in and semester out, making it a point to update their students of who I was. Jeez. I just hope they’re using a flattering picture in their power point. LOL. Alf is fun to talk about. Boxes beget boxes.

After four days of being all hot and bothered, I gave it up and reflected on the experience.

Boxes, preconceived notions, impressions and judgments’ derail people from seeing the true value of one another. Our judgments’ of others block our view and promotes division and rejection. When we begin to see the value of each others worth, focusing on what they CAN do and not what they CAN’T DO, we also open ourselves to the possibility that this person that we are so quick to judge may help us in some way. In the case of this old professor, I still can’t understand what drove her to say the things she did, or what it was that she hoped to achieve. But what I do understand is there are times that I too am very guilty of boxing other people in. To address this, I have a conscious system of dealing with people so I can free myself from the devastating effects of judging them. I call it my plus-minus system.

It works this way. One of the things I try to practice is to keep my mouth shut whenever I am on the verge of saying something awful. Remember the old adage? ‘If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all?’ Believe me that is very hard. I am in the business of people relations and marketing so conversations account for a lot of my waking hours. And there would always be people who are more opinionated than I am. And there would always be people who are just plain disagreeable.

Minus points are awarded to people who are disagreeable. These are the types who make it a point to argue even over the most senseless topics. Do I hate them? No. Are they reaping negative points? Yes. To free myself from negativities (I try to be as positive as I can), I shy away from these types of people. I don’t want to judge them so ill just lessen my interaction with them. One of the hardest things to do is to affirm a negative person but if you are able to do it, you would see changes in them. It’s better to give out affirmation than to demand it.

Minus points are also given to people who don’t see my worth. While I don’t claim to know everything and while I know I am poor at some things, I also know that I am good at some things. We all are uniquely gifted! And while I don’t wear a placard saying I’m good at these things, people who know me, know. So it’s very puzzling to me when someone approaches me for help but doesn’t listen to what I have to say. It’s like being in a monologue. Their monologue. Where information is unidirectional. Do I put them in boxes? No. I think they have not realized my worth yet. And if they hadn’t well, that’s not my problem.

Plus points on the other hand are easily given out. These I give to people who make me laugh, smile and feel good about myself. A huge bag of points is given to people who make OTHER people happy because of a good deed, a kind remark or even a silly joke. I radiate towards positive, happy, fun-loving people who can catch my attention. I’ve talked a lot about this already, I get bored easily and it’s difficult to catch my attention BUT if it’s something I’m really interested in or something YOU made me interested in, well, that’s more PLUS POINTS for you.

Pluses and Minuses free me from tagging people permanently as lost cases. This I do because there are a lot of people who, through our long and bumpy relationship as friends, chose to never give up on me. I owe these people a lot. It’s just paying it forward. My plus and minus system keeps it real, it’s like saying: I don’t really like you now but its okay. I’m sure we will be able to regain what was lost in the future. Furthermore, I also believe that every one of us has this sort of system in us, a system of social interaction constructs based on differing human relations. It’s just that I put a brand name to it. Yes, you may refer to it as ‘Alfred’s Plus and Minus System’ LOL

I have written a lot about expectations and how we should lessen or increase it based on the level of relationships that we have. The problem is there are no hard and fast rules that govern expectations in all forms and types of relationships. It’s up to the involved parties to figure it out for themselves. Believe you me, I would want to give you a quick guide on this but it won’t be accurate. Relationships are uniquely designed to the people involved.

Remember the idiom, ‘Jack of all trades master of none?’ I believe that. I believe that no one is self-sustaining and I believe that no one is that good to know all facets of a business or all there is to know about life in all its glory. It just doesn’t work that way. True, they can profess to know but do they really? Hmm. I guess this is my cue to shy away and keep my mouth shut. =)

There are some things that I can’t do and there are some things that I’m good at. Having a healthy respect for each other’s unique genius opens doors to deeper, more meaningful relationships. I’ll end this reflection with a story I read from the online Didache sent to me earlier today by Bo Sanchez’s web team:

unique genius

“What, then, will this child be?” – Luke 1: 66

A teacher once told Michael’s mother that he’d never be able to focus on anything in his life because of his difficulty in focusing on the lessons in the classroom.

As a boy, he was diagnosed with ADHD. He’d often stand up and can’t stay quiet. It was very hard for him to concentrate. At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Michael Fred Phelps won eight gold medals in various swimming events — the most gold reaped by anyone in a single Olympics. That’s aside from the various awards and records he still holds.
Often, we hold biases and beliefs about how a child would grow up based on what they are now and what they do.
We tend to box a child (or other people for that matter) with what we see or of our impression of what they do. We relegate them to the sidelines. The cruelest thing we do is give up on them.
God made us great with our own unique genius. We should treat others and ourselves as such. Jun Asis (mabuting.balita@gmail.com

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cerebrus interruptus

June 21, 2010

Admit it.admit it. I break your trail of thought =)

Hi network. I’m back.
Yeah,I admit, I might’ve started one of my past microblogs using the same phraseology.thats ok.im allowed to repeat myself =)

I was inspired by one of the many things i read online earlier today,the blog was written by a friend of mine and the point of his treatise was finding someone who could be with him when he’s lonely.Not that way you perv,but more of having someone to talk with.Yep,he’s intent on finding a GF. For our purpose,and to be totally crude about it,lets refer to it as ‘finding a mate’

But im not goin to talk about that,what i wanted to talk to you about is how You as an individual can do stuff so you wont have to feel too down when you dont have a ‘relevant other’

Thinkin about it, i don’t have any tips on hand to address those kinds of thoughts either. What i am confident of is i Will be able to churn out stuff for you and I to think about after a long days worth of work or study or play or whatever it is you do.

I,alfred labadan,your marketingman friend,do solemnly promise to interrupt your thoughts,and to go all Disney about it: ‘in the most delightful way’=)

How’s that eh?
For the students,it’s now june,time for you to start workin on gettin that degree again, i for one am excited because i too am starting classes next week.

For the working stiffs,businessmen and parents,hello. It’s another day for you and me to earn and inspire and make good with what we have achieved thus far.

To all of you, This is my hello,your LifeTrekker is back =)

Same rules apply, comments are very much appreciated.you can subscribe or unsubscribe anytime and you can register your friends numbers as well.LifeTrekker Mobile is available for Globe and TM subscribers only. This is the beta version of LifeTrekker online

Let us LifeTrek together!=)

the capacity to remake yourself

February 23, 2010

Like any individual who had had a life altering event, I found myself adrift- with all the responsibilities and expectations required of a yuppie but none of the security. When I had a job, I built a certain kind of life and it became my identity. When I lost that job or the career that I thought I was building, I lost that identity and for more than a year, I was dealing with it in the best possible way I knew how, writing- and telling you about it. And that’s scary for the most part because my work-er career defined who I was, and without it, who exactly am I again? It’s like the death of the self. And so I had to go down on my barest self and tried rebuilding and making do with what’s left lest I go out and make the same mistakes again.

It was a hard year, I’m sure you knew especially if you were subscribed to my Life Trekker blog. And I am not all that proud of everything I have said and done at that time. I made really crazy decisions, like whimsically going on that PEFAJ interview out of boredom. I got in, I did well (aced the class actually) and earned lots. But the work doesn’t agree with me. Hell, no one around me agrees with this poor call, to punish the pun. But I’ve no regrets because the two months I spent with them were a cornucopia of rich experiences. I met a wide range of people that I would never have met had I stayed inside my cozy little bubble. It was like taking a vacation from who I really was.

I am now marketing environmental services. Like any other momentous moment of my life, I outline the good things that make it right for me at this time. This responsibility that I have right now is right for me because 1. I get to write, which I have been told I am good at. 2 I get to sell ideas and services and make relevant people sit up and listen, which actually is marketing, if you simplify it. 3. I am saving the earth, which I feel strongly about because duh, it IS where we live and it’s not as if we could get a new one.

Reinventing yourself and appreciating what you have come easy when people around continue being supportive no matter what.  I am at an age when what detractors say no longer matter. But I am kind of affected when people close to me tell me that I am not the right fit for this.

At least three people have told me explicitly that

  1. I am pretending I know what I am doing and I am pretending to like it. They are not so sure.
  2. I am not the right fit for the job because he is smarter than me. (He probably is smarter, it’s okay.)
  3. I am better off working as a call center agent because it fits me more.

Ouch. As much as I tried, I couldn’t come up with any explanation as to why these individuals have the audacity to say these things up front. The optimist in me pleads that they ‘mean well.’ The pessimist in me shrugs it off and says: ‘they are probably insecure’ while the bigger part of me just let it slide because I am more interested in having a Grreat life than being morose and sulky. You’ve read this before in my articles:  My default setting is ‘Happy.’

Once you find your passion, jobs and work no longer define you. You define them; you make it work regardless of what others say.

I wish that you will find your passion the soonest possible time.

the trouble with emo

October 22, 2009

written Aug 13 10:58am

‘listenin to emo, does not make you emo. Learn to comprehend people, learn to comprehend.(zadl suministrado)

One of my friends in facebook posted this moments ago and despite of my oh-so-busy schedule watchin ‘happy feet’ it got me thinkin: What is up with ’emo’ anyway? What is up with dressing in black and walking in the rain looking all morose and sullen with your skull candy (or fake ones) beating ’emo’ tunes in your waterlogged brain?!

WTF?!

And somebody explain to me when it became allowable for high school and college guys to wear black make up all in the guise of bein ‘EMO’ Again, WTF?!

I am left to assume that ’emo’ is a perverted, truncated, molested version of the word ’emotional’ wherein teens of preposterous testosterone levels are following a senseless fad or genre with blind obedience.

WTF IS EMO ANYWAY? Is it then a license for people to walk around in the rain? Sige punyeta ka magkasakit ka.

Is it a license for friends and colleagues to answer you with a blank stare or a withered look when you ask them: ‘kamusta ka?’

PUNYETA KA, sumagot ka, UMAYOS ka, kinakausap ka nang maayos

Is it a license to go out into the rain with your 2thou ++ peso SkullCandy that your parents bought you? O siguro peke yan at binili mo lang sa CDR King kaya okay lang mabasa at mag short circuit sa ulo mong kulang na nang turnilyo kaka-emo mo!!

Susmaryosep naman kasi.

KUNG WALA NAMANG DAHILAN PARA MAGING malungkot ka E WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ACT THAT WAY?! Kasi uso?! Wahahahaha Punyeta!!

Yours is a screwed up generation if the only thing you do is follow this movement/genre or whatever.

Please.

Do everyone a favor and educate these wayward misfits struggling to fit in. Show them a more worthwhile advocacy. Like ‘involvement in the electoral process’ or ‘goin for a green environ’

Hindi yang punyetang emo na yan na ang ginagawa lang ay gawing suicidal ang mga batang umpakadami namang reason na magpakasaya.

And don’t get me started on ’emoPunkz’ With that blood curling spelling replacing ‘s’s with a ‘Z’

Study. Graduate. Make something for yourself. And stop with this emo-crap. Please.

Drop it like its Hot

August 9, 2009

There are times when we are powerless to rem0ve ungodly influences,so we must remove ourselves fr0m the temptation.There are people who would lie to you in your face,lead you to believe half-truths and lead you on a false sense of security,all for m0ney or greed.

Paul urges us to avoid every kind of evil(1Thess.5:22)

At the end of the day,i cant help but feel sorry for people who trick,lie and mistreat others for a quick buck.
I guess when m0ney talks,people do change.

Lord,allow me to remain steadfast in kn0wing my identity and fullness that can only be f0und in You.Amen

Blog Entry Oiling the lamps with Wisdom in anticipation of Parousia

July 31, 2009

Because my direction in yesterdays LWG is to ‘multiply’ here it is!

(hahaha, im kidding of course. This was my reflection last November 5 2005 at the Youth Ministry worship then led by Marimaj Espinas

breaks in the paragraph (and thought) means I went extempo on some anecdotes which, by now, is lost to me. I hope you will be able to pick up something useful despite the long read.

FIRST READING Wisdom of Solomon 6: 12 -16

RESPONSORIAL PSALM Psalm 63: 2-8

SECOND READING 1ST Thessalonians 4: 13-18

GOSPEL Matthew 25: 1-13

Personification. A figure of speech. Truly Communication Arts and English came a long, long way. Even before the term ‘personification’ came into being, those that wrote the first reading had it in good. They know their stuff, they know their syntax.

By using the figure of speech, the author gave us a richer picture of what Wisdom is and how we should seek her. By having an allusion of an actual human being, it is easier for the readers to appreciate its value or her value. For tangible things are always easier to comprehend. Rather than having a loose notion of a concept, it was enriched for us, for our understanding.

But what is wisdom?

The reading says that if you look for her, you will find peace of mind, she is kind and she will be with you in every thought because she will be looking for those who are worthy of her.

The next verse answers it for us: Wisdom begins when you sincerely want to learn. To desire wisdom is to love her, to love her is to keep her laws; to keep her laws is to be certain of immorality. Immorality will bring you closer to God.

The world is full of ‘experts’ there are people everywhere who want to convince you of the wisdom of their opinion. Yet God says it is not the one who declares his viewpoint most loudly or vociferously who is the wisest, but the one who is vindicated over time.

When you seek to obey what God has asked you to do, you will sometimes meet resistance and criticism from others who disagree with the wisdom of your actions. Your immediate response maybe the urge to vindicate yourself, however, if you wait patiently, time will reveal the wisdom of your actions far better than you could through argument.

Through the ages, the wisdom found in God’s word has been tested and proven true. It is critical that you measure everything you hear against the scriptures, trends in Psychology and Philosophy come and go, but the word of the Lord is timeless.

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Have you ever been thirsty? Like really, really, REALLY THIRSTY?

Remember how great it felt that after a long wait, you are finally able to drink. COLD, REFRESHING water that quenches your thirst? Or, right now, we have a ‘better’ substitute after sweating out, it’s GATORADE with all the vitamins and minerals and electrolytes.

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The psalmist uses suggestive images to express his desire of communion with God; he wants to embrace God, to be in the shadow of His wings, to lean on his right hand. This desire is a basic spiritual feeling.

Another thing that the psalmist uses is a lot of imagery ‘my soul thirsts like the earth, parched, lifeless and without water’ ‘riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied’

This spectacular Psalm has many spiritual applications.

How pathetic it is for us if we stop searching, always going further, and looking for more! It has been said: True love is limitless and that is precisely why it leaves us unsatisfied. Only He who is the fountain of living water and not ‘broken cisterns’ (Jeremiah 2:13) can satisfy men’s fundamental thirst.

St Augustine expressed it in his famous phrase: ‘You have made us for yourself; O Lord and our hearts will not rest until they rest in you.’

We are certainly blessed if at certain times in our lives, in meditating God’s Word, like in praying or worshipping, in generously responding to divine calls, in loving our neighbor unselfishly, we experience God through the feelings that show God for who he is: peace, joy, security and inner conviction, fullness…And we are even more blessed if, because of our serenity and hope in the midst of the difficulties and trials of life, we give to others the love and desire of God.

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Paul’s formation of a Christian community in Thessalonica on his second missionary journey (Acts 17, 1-9) produced a considerable disturbance in the Jews residing there. To prevent further disorder, he and his companion, Silas, agreed to leave the city (Acts 17, 10). However he revisited the community on his third journey (acts 20 1f)

Indications from 1st Thessalonians itself and Acts permit the almost certain conclusion that the epistle was written only a short time after Paul’s departure from Thessalonica. (1 Thessalonians 2, 17) in that interval, he had been in Athens (3, 1; Acts 17, 16) and from there had sent Timothy to the Thessalonians (3, 2). He now writes to them from Corinth (1, 7 Acts 18: 1-18

Paul writes after receiving Timothy’s report on the Thessalonian community

The Thessalonian community is made up of Christians who are all recent converts with little experience. For years, they had accepted the fate of men who are born to die. Now on the contrary, they awaken each day with the assurance of overcoming death: Christ will come soon and take them to the heavenly kingdom.

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But they are grieved over their dead relatives whom Christ will not be able to save. This is the way they thought because people steeped in Greek culture had difficulties believing in a resurrection of the dead.

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Those who are already asleep Those who have died are not dead, but they are asleep, waiting for the time of the resurrection, the time of rising as new persons transformed by Christ: we will all be transformed. The word ‘cemetery’ comes from a word meaning ‘sleeping place’

We will be brought along with them in the clouds. Paul presupposes that he and his readers will still be alive when Christ come and describes the event in thought patterns of his days: they thought that God was above.

We will be with the Lord forever. Paul goes to the heart of the matter: we will share Christ’s destiny. We will enjoy intimacy with God because the whole person will have been purified and transformed by the power emerging from the risen Christ.

Comfort one another. The way to celebrate funerals in the Church must comfort the dead person’s relatives and strengthen their faith in the resurrection. There is no room for expressions of despair and sadness which Jesus himself scorned (see Mark 5:40); these are peculiar for the people who consider separation to be final.

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The parable is addressed to the members of the Church

The Kingdom of God is compared to a wedding, in which some young girls are chosen to be part of the entourage: Like them, we have also been selected by God to prepare for the wedding of the Lord Jesus with humanity.

The girls were ready for the wedding, but Jesus delays and time passes by. The sleep which takes possession of the girls is not the result of negligence on their part but it simply means that the time when they could have entered without problems was over. We, likewise, when we began our journey in faith, could not foresee that we would meet trials.

The careless ones did not take extra oil. They did not think of building up their lives, or surrendering themselves; nor did they make the commitments that would allow them to endure. The oil for the flame is lacking; so also is the giving of oneself and of everything one has; Faith hope and love are like the fire that fades away when there is nothing left to burn.

I do not know you. Neither a baptism nor periods of fervent devotion are of value to us, if afterwards we are content with a life of routine religious practices.

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The Lord demands faithfulness and perseverance of those he has chosen; this is how we save a world which seeks everywhere for truth, and does not know to which Lord to surrender.

We must realize now that someday it will cost us everything to remain faithful to our commitment. We don’t realize that as time goes by; our attitudes and obedience to the faith will change.

When we know God’s will, when we have our orders and we don’t do it, that’s bad, THAT’S A SIN! (James 4:17)

We can make excuses for our lack of obedience: ‘I’m not just read yet or ‘I’ll do it later’ or ‘I don’t think it will make any difference’ or ‘I can’t afford to.’

We rationalize, we procrastinate, yet in God’s eyes, rationalization and procrastination are nothing more than disobedience. At times we deceive ourselves into thinking that good intentions equal obedient actions. THEY DO NOT. A good intention without any corresponding activity is disobedience. When we encounter God and he gives us a direction, it is not enough to write down the date on our spiritual journal, or even to tell our friends and church of our ‘decision.’ God’s call is not to ‘make a decision’ but to obey! Deciding to obey is not equal to obeying! (Matthew 21:28-31) Loudly affirming the necessity of obedience is not the same as obeying (Luke 6:46) making commitments, even publicly, is not the same as obeying our Lord. Substituting our own good works is not the same as obeying.

God expects you to obey EVERYTHING exactly as he tells you. Only obedience satisfies God’s desire for, well, obedience.

Lord,

In my weakness you are my strength, I acknowledge my weakness, be with me, and meet me in my weakness, so that I may not fail

Oh that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.

Not my will but yours be done, not myself but you be glorified.

waiting in line for food

July 31, 2009

one of my brods commented this one time that we shouldnt wait in line for our food. he said ‘it’s just wrong’

i forgot the reason, cause and discussion that ensued after that but i was reminded of it minutes ago while i was still standing in a long queu for my burger.

yes, this is my second post about McDonalds and their burger but unlike the previous post, i didnt really plan on partaking of their burger for lunchy today. i just wanted a quick fix, nothing fancy, something i could just grab and go so i would have time to log on to multiply today (i was really busy earlier and the GM’ers were really distracting)

so off  i went and decided on a fastfood chain, realizing that it would be too taxing to slurp on my favorite sinigang here in my affice workspace. Pizza Hut is full, so that’s out and besides that’s more of a sitdown place with friends. KFC Vito Cruz is packed so its out, but its really very nice with the chic interior decor and lighting. So Mcdonald’s was next.

sauntering over, 7 lines filled the store. 7 ridiculously long lines
and
inspite of myself, i plunged in, and hence
‘waiting in the line for food’

i decided on a chicken but after a second, realized theirs is too gummy, i’d prefer chicken joy, then i saw the cheesecake, which i figured, would be good, since its been a while, and i could use the sugar rush. but then i realized, i just downed a whole long pack of double stuffed oreos. sugar was not my priority.

4 people down the line, i decided on the burger which was, i thought, the obvious choice because i had wanted a grab and go meal. but then Little Miss Greeny on the counter seemed to be ordering for the whole store; it was taking her such a long time to get all her orders and my tiger looks aimed towards her didnt seem to matter. Ugh. So instead, i gazed upon the plethora of carbo-loaded, greased up, cholesterolliffic goodies. And realized again, that this diet is really adding to my bodily belt bag budget (and i have seen Supersize me!)

Thats when i saw the ‘must try/ new’ red lettered on yellow explosion logo beside ‘double cheeseburger deluxe’ and i said to myself: after this long wait? I DESERVE A DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER DELUXE’

see? marketing people! its all about marketing! and me, knowing fully well of this ‘make people wait long lines, assailing their nostrils with every aroma we can bludgeon, making people hungry by visual stimulation, I KNOW THIS! PINAG ARALAN KO ITO SA mmgt102!! hrrr.
this
IS
NOT
RIGHT

‘May i have your order Sir?’

double cheeseburger deluxe to go please

large fries?

yes

large drink

NO. AHA!! i caught myself in time you-friggin-little-fattener-of-people-you!

would you like to upgrade it to a float sir?

(gulp)

Yes please

and one apple pie nadin

DANG!

iMode guide

July 31, 2009

iMode

isolation and reflection guide

by alfredlabadanII, vdpSj,hcye

I suggest at least an annual iMode for people who are always on the go and always out for the next big thing, easily excited, creative and gregarious, sanguines tire easily and bore quickly. With iMode, people like me can regain perspective and know what’s essential and what’s important.

But iMode is not exclusive for use of sanguines only, melancholics, cholerics, phlegmatics and a mix of all those in between can get fantastic results if the resolve for reflection is enough.

An effective iMode starts, begins, proceeds and ends with the consciousness examen which I have printed below and which i have learned from the Jesuits. You can do the Consciousness examen with step no.4 and 5 increasing in increments daily  until the end of your iMode

Let me reiterate though, an iMode is not being literally isolated from everyone, since that it virtually impossible, students need to go to classes and workers need to do their jobs. iMode, takes cues from the C.E. and its processes. It capitalizes on Fasting, Abstinence and Sacrifice. If you don’t know the difference between these, ask your shepherds.

Once you’ve done the Examen a few times, you will find your own rhythm and method. Cover all five points daily with freedom to dwell more on one than another, as the Spirit moves you. You might also like to add some music, candles or images to help you pray.

iMode learnings

in my book, a good iMode must end with a resolve to change and must have some sort of ‘learning’ afterwards, actions steps, reflections and realizations done may be written and shared with other people. By doing so, your spiritual accountability may increase. This is one basic foundation of why Youth Shepherding works, check and balance.

THANK YOU for downloading this special edition PDF of iMode


The Consciousness Examen

St. Ignatius at prayerThe prayers and methods of praying suggested here are based on nearly five-hundred years of Jesuit spiritual tradition. They could help you grow in intimacy with God and experience Jesuit spirituality first-hand. St. Ignatius believed that he received a gift from God that not only enriched his own Christian life but was meant to be shared with others. The gift was a “method,” a way to seek and find God in all things and to gain the freedom to let God’s will be done on earth. This way of praying allowed Ignatius to discover the voice of God within his own heart and to experience a growth in familiarity with God’s will. Jesuits call this prayer their daily examen of consciousness.

This is a prayer where we try to find the movement of the Spirit in our daily lives as we reflect on our day. This prayer can be made anywhere: on the beach, in a car, at home, in the library. Many people make the Examen twice daily: once around lunchtime and again before going to bed. There are five simple steps to the Examen, which should take 10-15 minutes to complete, and what follows is just one interpretation of these five steps in discerning the movement of God’s Spirit in your day. Through this method of praying you can grow in a sense of self and the Source of self; you can become more sensitive to your own spirit with its longings, its powers, its Source; you will develop an openness to receive the supports that God offers.

Before you start: Try to be in a place where you are least likely to be disturbed, and where there is the least amount of external noise. Perhaps you might light a candle or change the lighting when you pray to symbolise the start of this activity. Sit comfortably and still yourself; relax, be aware of your breathing, your body and how you are feeling.

1.   Recall that you are in the presence of God. No matter where you are, hilltop or valley, country or city, in a crowd or alone, you are a creature in the midst of creation. As you quiet yourself, become aware that God is present within you, in the creation that surrounds you, in your body, in those around you. The Creator who brought you forth into being is concerned for you. The Spirit of God, sent by Christ, will remind you that you are gifted to help bring creation to its fullness. Ask the Holy Spirit to let you look on all you see with love. “Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; … it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right … Love hopes all things.” (1 Cor.)

2.   Spend a moment looking over your day with gratitude for this day’s gifts. Be concrete and let special moments or pleasures spring to mind! Recall the smell of your morning coffee, the taste of something good that you ate, the laugh of a child, the fragrance of a flower, the smile brought forth by a kind word, a lesson that you learned. Take stock of what you received and what you gave. Give thanks to God for favors received. Also look at your permanent gifts that allow your participation in this day. Recall your particular strengths in times of difficulty, your ability to hope in times of weakness, your sense of humor and your life of faith, your intelligence and health, your family and friends. God the Father gives you these to draw you into the fullness of life. As you move through the details of your day, give thanks to God for His presence in the big and the small things of your life.

3.   Ask God to send you His Holy Spirit to help you look at your actions and attitudes and motives with honesty and patience. “When the Spirit of truth comes he will guide you into all truth.” (John 16:13) The Holy Spirit inspires you to see with growing freedom the development of your life story. The Spirit gives a freedom to look upon yourself without condemnation and without complacency and thus be open to growth. Ask that you will learn and grow as you reflect, thus deepening your knowledge of self and your relationship with God.

4.   Now review your day. This is the longest of the steps. Recall the events of your day; explore the context of your actions. Search for the internal movements of your heart and your interaction with what was before you. Ask what you were involved in and who you were with, and review your hopes and hesitations. Many situations will show that your heart was divided—wavering between helping and disregarding, scoffing and encouraging, listening and ignoring, rebuking and forgiving, speaking and silence, neglecting and thanking. Remember, this is not a time to dwell on your shortcomings; rather, it is a gentle look with the Lord at how you have responded to God’s gifts. It is an opportunity for growth of self and deepening your relationship with God. Notice where you acted freely—picking a particular course of action from the possibilities you saw. See where you were swept along without freedom. What reactions helped or hindered you? See where Christ entered your decisions and where you might have paused to receive His influence. “Test yourselves,” St. Paul urges, “to see whether you are living in faith; examine yourselves. Perhaps you yourselves do not realize that Christ Jesus is in you.” (2 Cor.) His influence comes through His people, the Body of Christ. His influence comes through Scripture, the Word of God. Now, as you pray, Christ’s spirit will help you know His presence and concern. As you daily and prayerfully explore the mystery of yourself in the midst of your actions you will grow more familiar with your own spirit and become more aware of the promptings of God’s Spirit within you. Allow God to speak, challenge, encourage and teach you. Thus you will come to know that Christ is with you. Christ will continually invite you to love your neighbor as yourself and strengthen you to do this.

5.   The final step is our heart-to-heart talk with Jesus. Here you speak with Jesus about your day. You share your thoughts on your actions, attitudes, feelings and interactions. Perhaps during this time you may feel led to seek forgiveness, ask for direction, share a concern, express gratitude, etc. Having reviewed this day of your life, look upon yourself with compassion and see your need for God and try to realize God’s manifestations of concern for you. Express sorrow for sin, the obscuring darkness that surrounds us all, and especially ask forgiveness for the times you resisted God’s light today. Give thanks for grace, the enlightening presence of God, and especially praise God for the times you responded in ways that allowed you to better see God’s life. Resolve with Jesus to move forward in action where appropriate. You might like to finish your time with the Lords Prayer.


ripples of change

July 31, 2009

I was talking with a good friend, erwin last saturday more or less about the topic of effecting change and doing something good and worthwhile for our fellow brethren. A couple of weeks back, he sent this message through GM expressing this same need and wanting to do actual, tangible good.

He strikes a familiar chord by initiating this, because i too, have been wanting to effect change, so much so that coffee conversations end up on the topic of accountability and responsibility and social change.

But far be it from me to go to the streets and demand for reforms. I did that bit a couple of times already, once during the height and hoopla of the whole ‘edsa dos’ where ousting erap was all the rage. I couldnt resist the throngs of people and the multitude of emotions so despite all instructions from my family not to go, i did anyway and wore a black shirt to boot. My mom, of course threw a fit.

The second one was when i decided to do a cameo in the recent La Sallian noise barrage which was held in the middle of taft avenue smack in front of La Salle and Benilde. All were wearing green of course, i chose to wear maroon =) But the din was too much for me so after 5 minutes i went back to the comfort of my freezing office.

So, ripples of change. Erwin’s proactive SMS is the recipient of my ‘marketing support’ and i promised him to do all i can in this project of his. I thought about it again as i walked from the hostel on the way to work earlier. I saw the same man i saw two days ago, crippled and seated at the intersection of quirino and taft. I saw the family living in a pedicab with a girl and a boy loitering aimlessly in the streets. I remembered the old lady at the Gil Puyat LRT station who has a skin disease and the old man a couple of steps above her begging for loose change so he could buy bread. I could go on and on about all the marginalized poor i see everyday.All this I am seeing with the rich chinese tycoons cruising along the same streets in Adriatico in their beemers and hummers. Amidst the squalid of the rugby boys and kids with tattered clothes are filipinas clad in pretty tight dresses beckoning to the nearest Joe.

And then theres me, a small town boy wanting to effect change, writing about it in his blog for many times already, feeling all inadequate yet sincere, armed only with prayers and a burning will to help.

I need a good dose of jabez in order to effect ripples of change
Are you with me?

If you appreciated this article, you might also want to check out this one, which tackles a similar topic, written earlier this year

http://alfredudepareh.multiply.com/journal/item/49/cup_of_soup